Introduction
It’s been a whole year since I last posted, whoops! Exploding head emoji. Anyway, earlier this year I entered a fiction short story writing competition through NYC Midnight. On the first day of the competition at midnight New York time the competition starts and each participant is given three prompts they must include in their story: a genre, a subject, and a character. We then have 7 days to create and write a story include these prompts with a maximum of 2,500 words.
This week I received feedback on my short story and unfortunately I was not one of the 10 people in my group to move on to the second round. Two of my three judges gave really positive feedback so I would like to think it was a mixed vote.
Even though it is fiction, and not science education writing, I wanted to share it here.
Title and Synopsis
Title: The Train West
Synopsis: On July 19th 1912 a meteorite shower struck just outside of Holbrook, Arizona. This is the story of two strangers on a train caught in the meteorite shower.
The Story
Edith
“All aboard! Next stop, Wingate, New Mexico.” the conductor yelled from the train car of the California Limited #3, traveling west on the Santa Fe railroad. The whistle blew and the train jolted as the wheels gave way to motion. Miss Edith Wilder had deposited her bag in the sleeper car and was now in the observation car. As a teacher she valued promptness. She looked out the window at the wagons rolling down the road behind clopping horses. As the train sped through Albuquerque, she even glimpsed one of the only motorcars in the state.
The road zoomed past the train car window. It was Edith’s first trip to the Grand Canyon. She thought about how Albuquerque City Hall had just displayed their brand new 48-star flag during the July 4th celebration two weeks ago. Now that New Mexico and Arizona were states, the flag was finally complete. Edith took out her book to read.
—
Wilbur
Mr. Wilbur Taylor saw the beautiful woman board the train an hour ago. Her blonde hair curled into a peach-colored sun hat adorned with a blue feather. Her simple peach cotton dress was cinched at the waist with a sash that matched the feather. She followed a cabin boy who carried her luggage to the sleeper car. She disappeared from view but Wilbur had hoped he would see her again. Now here she was, sitting in the observation car, book in hand.
Wilbur took a deep breath; it is now or never. He stepped forward.
“Excuse me ma’am,” Wilbur removed his flat cap and held it to his chest. “I couldn’t help noticing you are alone. How is it that a beautiful woman, such as yourself, is alone on a train in the wild west?”
The woman looked at Wilbur and curtly responded: “I believe a woman has every right to travel alone, just as a man.”
Wilbur cringed, he needed to approach her differently. “Oh yes, of course ma’am, I do agree. I just meant that a train traveling across the country is a wonderful place to meet people from everywhere. With that book you have there, you look like a woman interested in a good story.”
The woman blushed, “Oh of course, I do apologize for my unfortunate assumption.”
“No need to apologize ma’am, one can never be too careful in the wild west with bandits and their sinful ways running about.” Then Wilbur added “My name is W. J. Taylor; may I sit down?” he hoped using his initials made him sound impressive to this beautiful woman.
“Mr. Taylor, it is a pleasure to meet you. Do sit down, my name is Miss Edith Wilder.” She made room for Wilbur. “Is that an accent I hear, where are you from?”
“England.” Wilbur said automatically as he took a seat, I hope she doesn’t ask me questions about England. Maybe I could point it out on a map but not much more.
“Oh wow, you don’t sound British, I thought you sounded like a New Yorker.”
“I’ve been there too.” He added quickly then paused. “I was actually there in April. I was supposed to pick up my uncle at the harbor but, ah… he was on that Titanic so he never arrived.”
“Oh my, I am so sorry! That must be hard for you!”
“Yes, I mean, it’s the way he would have wanted to go.” Wilbur was feeling sweaty now, why didn’t he just tell her he was from Chicago? He didn’t know anyone that was on the Titanic nor had he been to New York. “He loved the sea, my uncle Earl.” Wilbur added.
“I see.” Edith said “I’m not sure what to say. I dearly hope God was with him and all the other passengers when the Titanic sank.”
“Yes.” agreed Wilbur. Changing the subject, he asked: “Say, what’s that you’re reading?”
“The Secret Garden. It came out last year. I’m a teacher, I was thinking of reading it with my students when the term starts. The author is from your home country.”
“Oh right, Britain. It must be a delightful book.” Wilbur hoped that sounded like something someone from Britain would say.
—
Edith
Edith had talked with Wilbur most of the day. They were now in the dining car taking drinks before a 6:30 pm dinner. They had crossed the state line into Arizona a few hours ago and their next stop was Winslow. Edith blushed at her luck meeting a fascinating man like Wilbur. “You have had quite the adventures Mr. Taylor, what brings you out west?”
“I am a guard for Wells Fargo. We haul gold and bank notes to California and I’m here to protect them from bandits that may try to heist the train.”
Edith was dazzled, not only was this gentleman handsome and adventuresome, he was also brave. Her dreamy thoughts were broken by the sound of laughter.
A gruff looking cowboy, six-shooter slung on his belt, approached their table. “Best not believe Wilbur here. He ain’t no Wells Fargo guard. I’m the guard. Wilby here is just the delivery boy. He drops off the mail that Wells Fargo hauls west for the post office.”
Edith looked at Wilbur who shrunk down in his seat. Disappointment started crawling into her thoughts. “You lied to me?”
“No!” Wilbur said “I meant; I am training to be a guard. I’m not there yet.”
The Guard laughed, “Training? Ain’t nobody told me that. You’ve been running this route from Chicago for two years and you’re still just a delivery boy. You know what the difference is between you and the goldbricks in that Wells Fargo car? You’re the only goldbrick on this train that’s worthless.” The Guard snorted as he walked away.
Edith looked at Wilbur, he looked small and powerless with a look of resentment on his face.
“Mr. Barlow doesn’t know what he is talking about!” Wilbur said.
Edith shook her head with disappointment. “Two years, so you also lied about being in New York in April. Was anything you told me real?” She was almost in tears. How had she fallen for him so quickly? He was nothing but a swindler.
Wilbur didn’t say anything; he couldn’t make eye contact with Edith. She stood up to walk away when a loud explosion shook the train on its tracks. Edith fell back to her seat. Screams and gasps reverberated throughout the dining car. People stared out the windows, eyes wide open, hands over mouths in shock.
Edith heard whispers of: “what is that?” She looked out the window. At first everything looked normal: an unending landscape of sand and grass dotted with sage brush. And then she saw it in the sky, smoke and darkness flying from the west heading toward them.
A sound like hail started pelting the train. A flaming red-hot rock flew past her head and lodged itself in the floor of the dining car. She looked up and saw a smoking hole in the ceiling. Edith ducked under the table, Wilbur was beside her, a look of panic etched on his face. Screams erupted and the train jolted as it hit the brakes. Wilbur was thrown into Edith and landed on top of her as the wheels screeched to a halt.
“Get off me!” Edith yelled over the sound of the train being pelted by burning rocks. She was scared and didn’t mind his arms around her. It felt safe from whatever was happening but she would not let him know that.
Edith looked around at the other people in the dining car, also crouched under tables. They held each other and prayed: “Oh please God save us.”
And just like that, the sounds of explosions and falling rocks stopped. All that could be heard now was sobbing and heavy breathing.
Edith crawled out from under the table. She placed her hand on the seat and took a deep steadying breath. Other passengers were doing the same.
Wilbur stood up and touched her arm, “Are you alright?”
Edith pulled away. “I am fine and I suggest you leave me alone, Mr. Taylor!” She was not going to let herself be fooled by his gentleness.
Edith saw others heading for the exit and followed them.
“Wait!” Wilbur said “We don’t know what that was.”
Edith ignored him and exited the train.
—
Wilbur
Wilbur was terrified. There were red hot rocks melted right into the floor and the ceiling looked like a cheese grater. He was still angry about being called a goldbrick. He worked hard. He was no bum. He thought about how he would prove that to Miss Wilder as he followed everyone off the train.
There was dust, smoke, and smoldering rocks everywhere. Someone ran past yelling “It’s the end of the world, the sky is falling!”
Another person was shouting: “The Lord has declared judgment day for all our wicked ways. Repent now!”
Wilbur looked around for Miss Wilder. He overheard the conductor tell another passenger they were just outside of Holbrook.
Wilbur wasn’t sure if he believed the world was ending but, with the train stopped this close to a town, they were sitting ducks for bandits. He had to find Miss Wilder and convince her that he was the only one that could protect her.
Wilbur saw and approached her: “Miss Wilder, I am glad to see you are well. You must not stay out here. When bandits find out our train isn’t moving, they will be here to rob it. When they see a beautiful woman such as yourself, they might have wicked thoughts and try to act on them.”
Edith looked at Wilbur coldly, “I do not need your protection. I can take care of myself.”
Edith walked away toward a large meteorite on the ground. But as she bent down to look at it closer the rock moved!
It was a creature the color of hot embers! It had 6 long insect-like legs and a plump upright body. The creature’s two big black eyes, like baseballs protruding from its head, moved independently of each other. As the creature stood up it made noises like a child banging on the keys of a piano. Then its body changed color to the brown of the sand.
Someone near Wilbur exclaimed “My Lord, that H. G. Wells was right, the aliens are coming!” People that had been staring with their mouths hanging open now started running and screaming about the invading aliens.
The alien responded to the chaos with a sound like the highest key on a piano being slammed and held down. Its eyes flashed through a rainbow of colors before stopping on a green that matched the surrounding sage brush. With its front two legs the alien grabbed Edith, who was standing next to it. It used its remaining four legs to run into the desert as fast as a wild stallion.
Wilbur’s head spun, aliens?! Could they really exist? He had never seen anything like it before. Wilbur shook his head to clear his thoughts. As he realized it, he shouted: “It kidnapped Miss Wilder!”
People were too busy holding each other, crying, and praying to acknowledge him.
“We must rescue her!” Wilbur added, nobody responded.
Wilbur saw a man standing with his horse. He ran up to the man: “Sir, may I borrow your horse? I must rescue Miss Wilder.”
The man dropped the reins and walked away in a daze. Wilbur jumped on the horse “Ya!” he shouted and dug in his heels.
An hour later Wilbur saw the alien in shades of red and brown looking down into a canyon. It changed colors again and matches those canyon rocks now! Wilbur tried to take a nervous gulp but his mouth was too dry.
The alien turned and saw Wilbur approaching. It chirped high piano notes again.
“I came for Miss Wilder. Hand her over and nobody will get hurt,” Wilbur said in a voice lower than normal.
The alien continued to chirp and backed up to the canyon edge. Miss Wilder was crying. Wilbur knew he had to act now before it was too late. “I know the President, and if you don’t release Miss Wilder, I will get him out here to deal with you!”
–
Alien
These creatures keep making strange noises at me, they seem to be stuck as one color too. Are they broken? That brown one on four legs seems to only snort. The white one on two has a complicated language, just like the one I’m holding. I keep trying to tell them that my ship was hit by the meteorites and I crashed here. They don’t understand. I thought these creatures were trying to hurt me at first but they are keeping their distance. The white one keeps pointing to the one I’m holding. The one I’m holding is leaking from its eyes. I think it is broken. Maybe I should let it go. “Here you go, little broken creature. Go get fixed. I only took you because I panicked when I woke up surrounded by your kind. I had hoped you could help me get home though but you definitely can’t if you’re broken.” I don’t think it understood me but it ran to the other creatures. I hope one of my own will rescue me soon.
–
Edith
Edith couldn’t believe the alien let her go. She was still shaking when a woosh of air rushed past. What looked like a stagecoach without wheels stopped next to the chameleon-like alien. The alien chirped with what Edith assumed was delight. The door opened and a red creature, that was otherwise identical, stood in the doorway. One eye looked around while the other fixed on Edith’s kidnapper. This alien chirped in mid piano key notes, then moved out of the doorway. The kidnapping alien ran through the opening and the door closed behind it. With another woosh the wheelless stagecoach was gone.
As Edith’s shaking dissipated, she thought, maybe it just needed rescuing too. It still kidnapped me though. Edith then realized Wilbur rescued her!
Edith threw herself into Wilbur’s arms. “You rescued me! You must have scared it off when you threatened to get the president involved! Thank you, Mr. Taylor.”
“Yes, ah, I don’t really know the president. Nor do I know anyone that was on the Titanic. I’ve never been to Britain or New York. I’m from Chicago.” Wilbur admitted.
Edith smiled at him, “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
Wilbur smiled back “Well, after having my own adventure here I don’t think I need to make them up anymore.”
“Do you think anyone will believe this adventure?” Edith asked.
“Probably not.”
“Shall we head back to the train before it departs?” Edith held out her hand so Wilbur could help her onto the horse.
“Right you are.” Wilbur said as he shook the reins and rode west to the train and the setting sun.
Courtney The Frogologist 